You are standing alone in an open field. Trump is in the White House, and you’ve come here to scream. There is a path heading east.
>scream
About what?
>scream about Trump being President.
Your screams are lost in the vast expanse of tall grass and sky around you. It is unsatisfying.
>walk east
You are in a forest. It is unseasonably warm for winter. Trump once tweeted that global warming was a hoax created by the Chinese. The path turns north.
>walk north
You cannot walk. You are too mad about Trump denying global warming.
>scream about Trump putting a gag order on the EPA
Your screams are muffled by the forest, but you do feel a little less angry.
>walk north
You come to a clearing. There is a well. The path leads north.
>inspect well
It is a humble well. Its stone walls are three feet high and five feet in diameter. Peering over the ledge, the well looks to be very deep. The cool air inside is refreshing.
>scream into well
What do you scream?
>IMPEACH TRUMP
Leaning over the well, the cool, wet stones feel good on your hands.
You scream:
IMPEACH TRUMP
The well echoes:
IMPEACH TRUMP
IMPEACH TRump
ch trump
rump
That was a good scream! And the echo makes you feel less alone. You’re feeling better already.
Your phone buzzes.
>inspect phone
It’s a New York Times alert:
TRUMP SIGNS EXECUTIVE ORDER BARRING CITIZENS OF 7 MUSLIM COUNTRIES FROM ENTERING THE UNITED STATES
>scream into the well about Trump’s xenophobic, anti-Muslim and illegal order
You have a good 30 second scream, and the well echoes your sentiments on the unconstitutional nature of his action. This feels amazing. The well totally gets you.
>walk north
Why leave when screaming into the well about Trump feels so good?
>scream into the well about Trump
Pick something specific to scream out. There’s certainly enough to choose from.
>scream into the well about Trump moving forward with building a wall between Mexico
You scream. The well echoes back that Mexico will never reimburse the cost and wonders why Republicans are so willing to pay for an ineffectual wall but not a social safety net.
Yes, this is the best you’ve felt since election night! The well is your friend.
Unfortunately all this screaming is making your head flush and hot. If you want to continue screaming, you’ll have to find a way to cool off.
The air inside the well feels nice.
>lean further into the well
Leaning deeper into the well, the cold, damp air refreshes you, and the smell reminds you of a family vacation to Carlsbad Caverns. A national park! Trump silenced the National Park Service’s Twitter account because they truthfully reported that his inaugural crowd was smaller than Obama’s. Trump is a small, petty man.
Your anger rises.
>scream into the well that Trump is a malignant narcissist unfit for the office of President of the United States
You scream and the well adds that Trump might very well start a war over a personal insult. You couldn’t have said it better yourself.
Unfortunately you’ve reached an equilibrium where the relief gained by screaming about Trump is entirely lost by the heat generated from screaming about Trump. To continue screaming, you’ll have to find a way to cool off more.
Sweat from your feverish brow begins dripping into your eyes. It stings like Hillary’s loss.
>wipe eyes
What a cool reprieve! Your hands have been kept cold by well’s stones. The well has everything you need. At this point, you’ve leaned so far into the well that you could easily press your face against its cool interior wall.
>press face against inside of the well
The wall’s coolness feels wonderful against your face. Normally the stone’s thin coating of slime would bother you, but this is not normal. Nothing about Trump’s presidency is normal.
>scream into the well that Trump appointing white nationalist Steve Bannon as his Chief Strategist and placing him on the National Security Council is not normal
“THIS IS NOT NORMAL!” you scream into the wall of the well you’re folded over.
It is a good scream but something is missing. There is no echo! Yelling this close to the wall must be bad for acoustics. Facing outward would fix the problem.
>turn head outward
You cannot turn your head far enough. If only you could speak out of both sides of your mouth like that spineless Paul Ryan. You’ll have to turn more than your head.
>turn body
You rotate your body ever so carefully. As you spin, your forward bow slowly becomes a backbend, until you… oops.
Y
O
U
F
A
L
L
I
N
The tumble lasts just long enough for you to realize that 2016 wasn’t so bad. You’d give anything to go back to 2016.
SPLASH!
The water at the bottom of the well is very cold. And seemingly bottomless.
You begin to sink.
>grab the well’s wall
The wall is too smooth and slippery to hold on to. Like Trump’s lies.
You are still sinking.
>tread water
You stop sinking. But you will get tired sooner or later.
Perhaps you should have called your representatives instead of screaming into a well?
>use phone
Who should you call?
>call 911
Are you sure you don’t want to call your representatives?
>call 911
Good point. You must get out of the well in order to scream into the well about Trump.
Unfortunately water damage has broken your phone.
>scream for help
No one comes.
You are sinking again.
>tread water
What’s the point with Trump as president?
>scream about Trump
The well echoes along, giving your resistance a second wind.
You are still sinking.
>tread water
You stop sinking. For now.
>scream for help
Your screams attract a curious deer.
>scream for the deer to get help
The deer no more understands what you are asking for than it understands that Trump is president. The deer just looks at you with the impassive serenity of Mike Pence.
>scream that Pence is a religious lunatic who believes in conversion therapy
The well agrees, but the deer bounds off.
You are sinking again.
>tread water
You stop sinking but this is getting harder.
>scream for help
The well also screams for help. It feels patronizing.
>scream for the well to knock it off
The well tells you to knock it off. Why is the well doing this to you?
>scream for help
You can’t. All breathe must be conserved for treading water.
You are sinking again.
>tread water
Your legs ache and your lungs Feel the Bern. He would have won!
You are sinking again.
>tread water
You can’t. You are too tired. As you slip beneath the water, at least you did all you could to scream about Trump into a well.
CONGRATULATIONS, you have won Screaming About Trump Into a Well!