Side Hustles of My High School Students or Second Jobs of My Teacher Friends?

1. PSAT tutor

2. ACT proctor

3. Buying and selling GameStop index funds while I’m trying to collect the fucking homework

4. Youth soccer camp coach

5. Piano lessons and biweekly plasma donations

6. Wedding photographer

7. Wedding violinist

8. Lifeguard

9. Cadillac car salesboy

10. Running a literacy enrichment program for underserved youth

11. Running a multilevel marketing cannabis empire over Facebook and LinkedIn

12. Waiting tables

13. Instagram influencer for athleisure wear

14. Teaching ten- to twenty-minute online ESL courses to Korean adults (who may confess to opening a second savings account to hide money from their spouses before hitting on you from many time zones away) back-to-back-to-back for six consecutive goddamn hours

15. Scooping water ice at Rita’s, which pays a better hourly rate than the above

16. Summer curriculum alignment for your own school admin, who still pay you less than the Rita’s down the street

17. Streaming Fortnite on YouTube for six thousand teenage followers

18. Building decks for peers who are somehow independently wealthy, probably due to one of the following: a trust fund, a spouse with a trust fund, a spouse who works for Raytheon or ExxonMobil, a portfolio of Apple stock from 2003

19. Extreme couponing

Side Hustles of My High School Students: 3, 7, 8, 9, 13, 15, 17
Second Jobs of My Teacher Friends: 1, 2, 4, 5, 6, 10, 11, 14, 16, 18, 19
Both: 12