1. “I think we’ll have to think outside the box here. Put the box down. Now.”

2. “Use your inside voice. I’m sitting right here.”

3. “Let’s not talk over each other. Everyone will get a turn.”

4. “Can we turn the volume down? The VOLUME. TURN IT DOWN.”

5. “Yes, I see you. I can see you. PUT YOUR PANTS ON NOW, PLEASE.”

6. “If we’re going to get through this, we need to be polite.”

7. “We don’t all need to know you’re using the bathroom.”

8. “Is someone singing ‘Into the Unknown’ somewhere?”

9. “Who’s crying? Why are you crying right now?”

10. “I can’t understand you. Do you have something in your mouth? WHAT IS IN YOUR MOUTH?”

11. “Do you need a timeout?”

12. “I really don’t care if you have cake for lunch. I don’t care if you open the freezer, pull out the ice cream, and make yourself a sundae with that entire box of Lucky Charms, I JUST DON’T WANT TO SEE IT.”

13. “Are… are you still in your pajamas?”

14. “Do you need to take a nap?”

15. “What the… who’s crying now? It sounds like someone’s weeping… oh, wait. That’s me. Let me go somewhere quieter.”

- - -

Colleagues: 1-15
Kids: 1-15