I
Among the tiny paragraphs,
The only moving thing
Was the .gif of the blackbird.
II
I was up to three retweets,
Like a tree
In which sang three Members of Boy Bands Who Kinda Suck At Life.
III
The times Taylor Swift Was Just So Perfect whirled in the autumn winds.
I played “Shake it Off” as part of my pantomime.
IV
A man and a woman
Are one
Click away from seeing the best quotes
From The Office.
V
I do not know which to prefer,
The beauty of kittens
or the beauty of Shiba Inus,
The people eating odd food
or just after.
VI
Ice cubes filled the Cocktails You Can Impress Your Date With,
poured in a vintage Scooby Doo cup.
The shadow of the Insanely Easy Dip Recipes
Crossed the counter, to and fro.
The Sriracha
Made us utter
An indecipherable curse.
VII
O thin women,
Why do you have these problems?
Do you not see how the big-boobed
Walk around on feet
Tired and in need of this DIY Foot Scrub?
VIII
I talk about regional accents
and lucid, inescapable images that will Make Me Miss 1997 With a Fierceness.
But I know, too
That the Koch Brothers are involved
in something.
IX
When the Kanye drama flew onto Twitter,
It marked the trend
Of one of many hashtags. #ClapBack
X
At the sight of the avocado recipes
Flinging their green light,
Even the gods of guacamole
Would cry out sharply.
XI
He clicked through the 36 Questions Women
Have About Men.
Once, a fear pierced him,
In that they mistook
The adjustment of his equipage
For flirting.
XII
The River Phoenix tribute is moving.
Isn’t Stand By Me on Netflix?
XIII
It was listicles all afternoon.
It was snowing
And it was going to snow
And here are Some Treats Guaranteed to
Keep You Warm as frost blankets the cedar-limbs