Three Things I Learned While Using the Lavatory at Local Boston-Area Restaurants

1. The entire Yankee baseball organization is homosexual, as is Ronald, and our current commander in chief.

2. For an entertaining evening, I should have contacted Emerald at 1-800-NIP-PLES, but have since missed the opportunity.

3. My mother is so corpulent that she was baptized at Sea World (which is odd, because my mother is Jewish and has never been further south than Virginia).