Jokes by Brian Beatty: Thumb - McSweeney’s Internet Tendency

Internet Tendency

Daily humor almost every day since 1998.

Daily humor almost every day since 1998.

The Believer Magazine

Subscribe today to climb aboard this unstoppable train of a literary journal.

I got a paper cut opening a Band-Aid wrapper. My bleeding thumb tasted just like irony.

Jokes
Thumbs

Please help support our writers and keep our site ad-free by becoming a patron.

Become a patron

Subscribe to McSweeney’s Internet Tendency’s Substack

Suggested Reads

April 13, 2001

Christ Goes to Happy Hour

by Duane Swierczynski
October 29, 2009

Terrible Poetry Jokes

by Peter LaVelle
March 18, 1999

Say it Ain’t So, Joe(y): The Takedown

by Matt Sullivan
August 7, 2006

Thirteen Writing Prompts Contest: A Thousand Pounds

by JEMS Weeks

Trending 🔥

December 4, 2024

Your 2024 Therapy Wrapped

by Sasha Lubomirsky, Topher Lin, and Chan Lin
December 3, 2024

A Faculty Member’s Self-Evaluation at the End of the Semester

by B. McNulty
December 19, 2024

A Producer Attempts to Pitch The Nutcracker

by Jeff Bender
December 10, 2024

A Typical First Date with a Guy in Boston, Chicago, or New York

by Jus Kaplan, Jonah Nink, and Jack Stebbins

Recently

December 20, 2024

Great Philosophers on Santa’s Naughty and Nice Lists

by Amanda Lehr
December 20, 2024

An Art Nouveau Calendar for a Terrible Fucking Year

by Ali Fitzgerald
December 19, 2024

An Open Letter to Sarah from Love Actually, to Be Delivered In the Two Seconds Before She Answers Her Phone for the Second Time While Karl Is Tenderly Dry Humping Her

by Una LaMarche
December 19, 2024

A Producer Attempts to Pitch The Nutcracker

by Jeff Bender