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Suggested Reads
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October 19, 2004McSweeney’s Halloween Tales: Yeah, I’m Muhammad Ali
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October 28, 20199 Fantastical Halloween Costume Ideas For Millennials
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October 10, 2003Things for Which I Was Either Reprimanded or Outright Suspended Without Pay When I Was a Teenage Universal Studios Hollywood Tour Guide in the Late Eighties
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May 25, 2021It Was Not an Insurrection—It Was a Group of Innocent Patriots on Their Way to Two-for-One Taco Night at Chili’s
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February 10, 2025Voting for the Mayor Who Promised to Blow Up the City Doesn’t Mean I Approve of the Mayor Blowing Up the City
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February 13, 2025Finally, My Tax Dollars Are Being Used to Uncover Publicly Available Government Information
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February 5, 2025Here at DOGE, We’ve Streamlined Every Aspect of America’s Collapse
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February 4, 2025An Accurate Organizational Chart of Your University
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February 21, 2025Don’t Tread on Me—Unless You’re a Billionaire with a Ketamine Addiction, in Which Case I Enthusiastically Support It
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February 21, 2025Excerpts from The Believer: Finding Win Ng
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February 21, 2025Why I Chose to Reenter the Matrix and Be a Living Battery for the Machines
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February 20, 2025Take Him Seriously, Not Literally