1. Saying that the Red Sea operates in the same manner as does a toilet.
2. Announcing, “If you accidentally drop anything, simply pull the emergency cord located over your heads. Just give it a pull and the tram will come screeching to a halt, endangering the lives of everyone on board.”
3. Telling the tourists that the word facade is French for fajita.
4. Responding to Battlestar Gallactica‘s Imperious Leader’s recorded threat of “I am the Imperious Leader, and you are now under my control” with “Funny, you don’t look like Sid Sheinberg” (I.e., the then President of MCA/Universal.) I was suspended for two weeks for that one.
5. Stating that the novel To Kill A Mockingbird was written by Harper Lee. (Which, of course, it was.)
6. Acknowledging the fact that the Bates Motel “doesn’t quite look the same way it does in the Psycho movies. That’s because we had to tear it down and redesign it for a truly horrible Twilight Zone knockoff TV show called Bates Motel starring Bud Cort that thank God only lasted one episode.”
7. Ad-libbing in the Special Effects Stage on the day after we received a condescending memo stating that we had to adhere word-for-word to the script.
8. Firing off an angry letter back to the boss in regards to the earlier memo (see #7) as well as posting it Martin Luther style in the employee breakroom next to the Galaga machine.
9. Alerting the tourists that they must keep their arms and legs inside the tram at all times or else they will spontaneously combust.