“In Tuesday’s presidential debate, former President Donald Trump again falsely claimed that Democrats support abortions ‘after birth’ and ‘executing’ babies.” — NPR, 9/11/24
Concrete Shoe Baby Booties
The little tyke can go either to the top of your expense list or to the bottom of the Hudson.
The Wicker Man Bee Helmet
If someone asks how your abortion was carried out, tell ’em it’s none of their bees-ness.
Baby Plinko
The baby is dropped into a special Price Is Right Plinko machine, where it wins $10,000 or lands on a cobra.
Stone Cold Stunner
For a few extra bucks, Stone Cold will pour a beer on your baby and give it a double bird salute.
Dagger Mobile
It’s just like any other mobile, until the timer goes off.
My First Guillotine™ by Fisher Price
Just line up the two holes, push out a baby, and pull on a lever.
Rube Goldberg Execution Machine
Look, there’s too much to explain. Just know that at the end, the putter hits the baby right in the face.
Grenade Pacifier
Keep your baby quiet. Real quiet.
Infanti-Sidearm
Moms give their baby a single kiss, then a double tap.
Gutfeld-Assisted Suicide
Babies watch Gutfeld! till they can’t take anymore and reach for the bottle of pills velcroed to their bib.
Spike Pit Dunk Tank
Nurses take turns throwing a beanbag at the target. The winner doesn’t get triple-shifted in the next pandemic.
AR-15
The baby leaves the hospital, grows up, then attends school in a country with no gun-control laws.