Richard III
“Evil man gets the girl this time — but loses his horse.”
A Midsummer Night’s Dream
“A simple weaver experiences a night of passion with the fairy queen. The only catch: he gets turned into a donkey.”
Titus Andronicus
“The cycle of tyrannical revenge, but combined with a baking show! Well, a human baking show… we’ll work it out.”
Romeo and Juliet
“Two teenagers from separate feuding families fall in love, #YOLO, and get married. The lovers’ lives are subsequently ruined.”
Troilus and Cressida
“It’s like Romeo and Juliet, but the woman gets cold feet and ditches love for war time security and money. The lovers’ lives are subsequently not ruined.”
Macbeth
“A general meets three women who tell him his fate is to become king. He and his wife wildly misinterpret this. Hijinks ensue! James’ll love it. James hates witches.”
Much Ado About Nothing
“A hilarious will-they-won’t-they romance with a twist: one girl’s virginity is called into question! And she’s publicly humiliated! But it all turns out well in the end.”
Hamlet
“The greatest, most complicated investigation of human consciousness ever written. Trust me. Also, there’s a ghost dad.”
Measure for Measure
“Get this — a supposedly pious man attempts to blackmail a nun-in-training for sex.”
The Tempest
“Vindictive wizard spends fifteen years developing magical abilities, is powerless to stop two water-logged drunkards from stealing his clothes.”
Antony and Cleopatra
“Sweeping battles of love, war, and lots of T&A — triumvirates and asps, I mean.”
As You Like It
“A guy falls in love with another guy, but it turns out he’s actually a woman! Thank goodness, amiright?”
Othello
“An older black man and a young white woman beat the odds of their era, fall in love, and get married. But then a total psychopath steals her handkerchief."
Twelfth Night
“A giant storm separates a set of twins, who go on to learn that gender doesn’t limit love. Meanwhile, a group of servants are jerks and trick a guy into wearing yellow socks. But does he deserve it?"
King Lear
“An old-moldy king disowns his only nice kid, and everyone gets mutilated, both physically and psychologically. I’ve added an existential jester for comic relief.”