Would you rather be isolating with one child that requires entertaining, or multiple children that require you to break up fights over whose turn it is to use the Swiffer as a sword?
Would you rather discover you’ve been walking around naked in the background of your child’s online summer camp, or discover you’ve been walking around naked in the background of your partner’s new client meeting?
Would you rather be stuck in the house with a perimenopausal mother of two who has been on lockdown for months, or in a room with a swarm of murder hornets?
Would you rather bake bread from scratch, or scroll through your college nemesis Zoe’s Instagram feed muttering about people who have time to bake bread from scratch?
Would you rather teach your child a new craft, or lie on the couch and stare at the unwashed pile of dishes in the sink?
Would you rather give your 6-year-old your password to download games on your phone only to find you have paid $1283 in Barbie game extras, or have to play with actual Barbies 17 hours a day?
Would you rather facilitate a PTA meeting around schools reopening in the fall, or do a trust fall into a pit of crocodiles?
Would you rather silently judge all your neighbors that are not wearing masks, or silently judge Zoe for wearing an extremely cute mask while meandering around her alpaca ranch with her kids?
Would you rather be self-isolating with a child who insists on re-watching the same episode of Fuller House, or the same episode of Elmo’s World?
Would you rather never have to play The Floor Is Lava again, or have couch cushions that can never be used to build a fort?
Would you rather have a child who is sad because they miss their friends, or one that is pretty content with never leaving the house and will fight you tooth and nail when school starts back?
Would you rather have your child learn fire juggling or ax throwing online?
Would you rather have your Fitbit tell you that 100 steps a day is actually really good, or have it send you an alert whenever Zoe doesn’t cherish every moment with her kids?
Would you rather your hair turn gray in front of your male colleagues, reminding them that mothers over 30 hold no value, desirability, or worth, or have to wear a top hat to all your zoom meetings with them?
Would you rather boxed mac and cheese be nutritious, or Mary Poppins be real and living with you?
Would you rather have the ability to freeze time, or the ability to unsee things like Zoe’s Insta post about how magical her year of homeschooling on the ranch was?