McSWEENEY'S INTERNET TENDENCY'S PATREON
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Articles by
Audrey Burges
Audrey Burges is the author of A House Like An Accordion (Ace, 2024) and The Minuscule Mansion of Myra Malone (Berkley, 2023). She writes novels, humor, and essays in Virginia.
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May 8, 2024Your Child Will Be Disenrolled from Camp Unless You Upload a Form That You’ve Never Heard of and We Will Not Explain
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March 26, 2024Terms and Conditions Under Which I Will Accompany You to a Live Musical Event
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December 30, 2023Signs That You’re Ready to Wear Taupe
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May 25, 2023I’m Your Mom Playing a Video Game, and I Will Turn This Avatar Right Around If You Don’t Watch Your Tone of Voice
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April 21, 2023I’m Beginning to Think You Don’t Care About the Thirteen Birthday Parties We’ve Been Invited to This Month
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March 14, 2023Co-Parenting with Your Parent: A Guide for Older Siblings
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December 2, 2022Are You Decorating for the Holidays with Children, or Playing the Lead in a Heist Movie?
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September 26, 2022I’m Michelangelo, and Everyone on this Ceiling Is as Naked and Jacked as God Intended
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September 1, 2022Please Come to My Emotional Labor Day Barbecue
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August 22, 2022I’m Beginning to Think You Don’t Care About the Forty-Eight Pencils I Need for School Orientation Tomorrow
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May 5, 2022Talking Heads Lyrics, or Words My Kid Strings Together at Bedtime Instead of Falling Asleep at a Reasonable Hour?
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March 30, 2022I’m Vincent Van Gogh, and I Painted That Way Because I Knew It Would Look Really Sweet on a Mousepad
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November 8, 2024Updates on the Arc of the Moral Universe
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November 6, 2024Here’s Why a Second Death Star Won’t Be That Bad
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November 6, 2024I Don’t Hate Women Candidates. I Just Thought an Erratic and Vindictive Criminal Was Worthier of My Vote Than a Woman Candidate
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November 8, 2024Finally, the Elites Have Been Defeated by the Billionaires