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Articles by
Audrey Burges
Audrey Burges is the author of A House Like An Accordion (Ace, 2024) and The Minuscule Mansion of Myra Malone (Berkley, 2023). She writes novels, humor, and essays in Virginia.
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February 19, 2025How Our Pants Fit
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December 9, 2024Introducing the First-Ever Smart Thermostat for Perimenopausal People
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May 8, 2024Your Child Will Be Disenrolled from Camp Unless You Upload a Form That You’ve Never Heard of and We Will Not Explain
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March 26, 2024Terms and Conditions Under Which I Will Accompany You to a Live Musical Event
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December 30, 2023Signs That You’re Ready to Wear Taupe
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May 25, 2023I’m Your Mom Playing a Video Game, and I Will Turn This Avatar Right Around If You Don’t Watch Your Tone of Voice
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April 21, 2023I’m Beginning to Think You Don’t Care About the Thirteen Birthday Parties We’ve Been Invited to This Month
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March 14, 2023Co-Parenting with Your Parent: A Guide for Older Siblings
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December 2, 2022Are You Decorating for the Holidays with Children, or Playing the Lead in a Heist Movie?
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September 26, 2022I’m Michelangelo, and Everyone on this Ceiling Is as Naked and Jacked as God Intended
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September 1, 2022Please Come to My Emotional Labor Day Barbecue
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August 22, 2022I’m Beginning to Think You Don’t Care About the Forty-Eight Pencils I Need for School Orientation Tomorrow
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February 10, 2025Voting for the Mayor Who Promised to Blow Up the City Doesn’t Mean I Approve of the Mayor Blowing Up the City
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February 13, 2025Finally, My Tax Dollars Are Being Used to Uncover Publicly Available Government Information
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February 5, 2025Here at DOGE, We’ve Streamlined Every Aspect of America’s Collapse
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February 4, 2025An Accurate Organizational Chart of Your University
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February 21, 2025Don’t Tread on Me—Unless You’re a Billionaire with a Ketamine Addiction, in Which Case I Enthusiastically Support It
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February 21, 2025Excerpts from The Believer: Finding Win Ng
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February 21, 2025Why I Chose to Reenter the Matrix and Be a Living Battery for the Machines
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February 20, 2025Take Him Seriously, Not Literally