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Articles by
Evan Allgood
Evan Allgood has written for The New Yorker, The Believer, Vulture, Paste, and, you guessed it, McSweeney’s. You can read more of his work on his website.
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February 6, 2025Spines for Senators Is Now Pitchforks for the People
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July 29, 2024The Backstreet Boys’ Commanding Officer Dresses Them Down After the Catastrophic Battle in Their “Larger Than Life” Music Video
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July 9, 2024Please Confirm Your Dinner Reservation
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February 16, 2024Actually, George, I Am Furious That You Chopped Down Our Cherry Tree
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January 17, 2024Jackson Lamb, Yoga Instructor
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September 1, 2022Reviews of New Food: Reviews of New Food: Buffalo Wild Wings’ Legendary Long Island
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August 12, 2021Oedipus Learns of the Term “Oedipus Complex”
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October 11, 2020Amy Coney Barrett Testifies Before the Judiciary Committee
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May 27, 2020Face Mask Alignment Chart
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February 27, 2020Mike Pence’s Coronavirus Prevention Tips
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February 3, 2020Democrats Must Nominate the Candidate Who Can Almost Beat Trump
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January 20, 2020Today We Honor Dr. Martin Luther King Jr., a Great Man Who Stood For Everything That I, a Political Conservative, Oppose
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February 10, 2025Voting for the Mayor Who Promised to Blow Up the City Doesn’t Mean I Approve of the Mayor Blowing Up the City
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February 13, 2025Finally, My Tax Dollars Are Being Used to Uncover Publicly Available Government Information
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February 5, 2025Here at DOGE, We’ve Streamlined Every Aspect of America’s Collapse
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February 4, 2025An Accurate Organizational Chart of Your University
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February 21, 2025Don’t Tread on Me—Unless You’re a Billionaire with a Ketamine Addiction, in Which Case I Enthusiastically Support It
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February 21, 2025Excerpts from The Believer: Finding Win Ng
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February 21, 2025Why I Chose to Reenter the Matrix and Be a Living Battery for the Machines
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February 20, 2025Take Him Seriously, Not Literally