McSWEENEY'S INTERNET TENDENCY'S PATREON
Join our Patreon at $10/month (or more) and receive a coupon for a discount on the Decorative Gourd Beanie, Gourd mugs, and our glorious new Advent Calendar. Help support our writers and keep our site ad-free.
Articles by
Gary M. Almeter
Gary M. Almeter is an attorney who lives in a quaint and cozy neighborhood in Baltimore, MD with his wife, three children and beagle. His short stories, essays and humor pieces have appeared in McSweeney’s, Writer’s Bone, the Good Men Project, 1966, and Splitsider. He is the recipient of the Maryland Writer’s Association’s 2015 Creative Nonfiction Award."
-
September 23, 2024We’re the Couple That Tina Turner Encounters at Minute 2:43 of Her “What’s Love Got to Do with It” Video, and This Is Our Story
-
July 3, 2024How to Tell Whether Someone is Liberal or Conservative on the Fourth of July
-
August 2, 2023I Am Trump’s Criminal Lawyer’s Criminal Lawyer’s Criminal Lawyer’s Criminal Lawyer, and Once Again, I Have No Fucking Clue What Is Happening
-
December 8, 2022How to Tell Whether Someone Is Liberal or Conservative
-
June 16, 2022Home for Father’s Day Jorts Bingo
-
May 19, 202135 Things You Never Knew About Peter Gabriel’s So Album
-
December 7, 2020Yes, The Silence of the Lambs Is a Christmas Movie
-
November 19, 2020What I Have Always Imagined Being on the Set of Whitesnake’s “Here I Go Again” Video Shoot Was Like
-
February 7, 2020Who Are You Wearing?!?!?
-
September 5, 2019Predictions for Every NFL Team
-
July 2, 2019Honest Fla-Vor-Ice Freeze Pops Flavors
-
September 28, 2018Rejected Lyrics from Earth, Wind & Fire’s 1978 Hit Song “September”
Trending 🔥
-
November 8, 2024Updates on the Arc of the Moral Universe
-
November 13, 2024Sure, I Voted for Someone Whose Policies Might Kill You, but Now’s the Time to Put Aside Our Differences
-
November 14, 2024An Open Letter from the Other Side of the World to the 50.2 Percent of Americans Who Probably Won’t Read This and the 48.1 Percent Who Might
-
November 6, 2024Here’s Why a Second Death Star Won’t Be That Bad
Recently
-
November 22, 2024Reasons That I, a Trans Woman, Have Had to Use the Bathroom at My Workplace
-
November 22, 2024Excerpts from The Believer: An Interview with Filmmaker and Musician Boots Riley
-
November 22, 2024Something about President-Elect Nyarlathotep’s Unholy Rebirth Feels Weird, Right?
-
November 21, 2024I’m a Good, Normal Family Man Who Just Wants to Inspect Your Genitals Before You Pee