The Believer Magazine
Articles by
John Flowers
John Flowers is a TV producer covering politics at MSNBC. He also writes humor for McSweeney’s and the New Yorker.
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November 22, 2019If You Ever Want to See Your Grandchild Again, You’ll Subscribe to Our New Streaming Network
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May 15, 2017The Secret White House Tapes
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February 14, 2017The CDC Has Issued a Quarantine Order for All the Lovey-Dovey Crap You See On Valentine’s Day
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December 15, 2015Finding the Right Neurosurgeon for You
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August 13, 2015Donald Trump, Through the Ages
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August 27, 2014The Following Content is Sponsored by Your Parents
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October 23, 2013Bar Trivia Night
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July 11, 2013Obi-Wan, Can You Stop Saying “Sand People”? It’s Kind of Racist
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May 8, 2013A Message to Shareholders About Our New $70 Million Purchase of “Elevator Pass.”
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October 22, 2012Election 20,012 B.C.: Where the Candidates Stand On the Issues
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July 13, 2012Attention Cable and Satellite Subscribers: This Network is Being Dropped Because Your Provider is Being a Giant Douche
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June 6, 2012Prospectus for Silicon Valley’s Next Hot Tech IPO, Where Nothing Could Possibly Go Wrong
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February 10, 2025Voting for the Mayor Who Promised to Blow Up the City Doesn’t Mean I Approve of the Mayor Blowing Up the City
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February 21, 2025Don’t Tread on Me—Unless You’re a Billionaire with a Ketamine Addiction, in Which Case I Enthusiastically Support It
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February 13, 2025Finally, My Tax Dollars Are Being Used to Uncover Publicly Available Government Information
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February 19, 2025Relax, Everyone—Clarence Thomas Has Got Us
Recently
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February 28, 2025An Open Letter to Lumon Industries Requesting to Please Kindly Insert the Severance Device in My Brain and Keep It on “Innie” Mode for the Next Four Years
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February 28, 2025Excerpts from The Believer: Resurrector: Black Square
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February 28, 2025The New Cair Paravel Times Editorial Board Reflects on the First Weeks of the White Witch’s Second Reign
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February 27, 2025Changes Our University Is Making to Pre-Comply with Possible Future Regulations