ILLUSTORIA MAGAZINE
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Articles by
Sam Weiner
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April 1, 2024The Riddle Master Hits Middle Age
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April 5, 2022The 1%: We’re Just Like You
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June 26, 2020What Your Car Dealer Says and What He Really Means
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July 12, 2019They’re Still Freedom Fries to Me
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May 24, 2019Why Superman Sucks
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April 26, 2019Why I’m Leaving Marvel Universe’s New York
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December 14, 2018Oprah’s Favorite Things, Unedited
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August 27, 2018Yes, I Built an Exact Replica of the Bar From Cheers In My Basement and No, You Are Never Coming Down Here!
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December 4, 2017Your Mass Shooting Thoughts and Prayers Are Accidentally Going to the Angry God of a Distant Planet
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September 20, 2017Who I Am, In Order
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February 21, 2017Welcome to Hillcrest: A Non-Judgmental, Non-Denominational Church of the Serpent
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October 20, 2016Award Certificates for Modern Adults
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October 15, 2024I’m an Undecided Hobbit, Torn Between a Dark Lord Who Promises an Age of Chaos and an Elf Queen Whom I Just Wish I Knew More About
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October 28, 2024The Starfleet Gazette Will Not Be Endorsing a Candidate for President of the United Federation of Planets
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September 20, 2024It’s Decorative Gourd Season, Motherfuckers
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August 19, 2024Lest We Forget the Horrors: A Catalog of Trump’s Worst Cruelties, Collusions, Corruptions, and Crimes: The Complete Listing: Atrocities 1–1,056
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November 4, 2024Don’t Worry—This Is Exactly How the Founding Fathers Intended You to Feel on Election Day
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November 4, 2024270 Reasons: Because There Are No Rights, No Freedoms That Some Extremists Won’t Try to Take From Us
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November 4, 2024Eeyore’s Tips for Election Day Self-Care
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November 3, 2024Based on Our Election Forecast, We Are 100 Percent Sure Anything Could Fucking Happen