“Chuck Schumer, the Democratic leader in the Senate, has reportedly been criticized by some of the party’s state governors for not resisting Donald Trump’s agenda and cabinet nominees strongly enough.” – The Guardian
FROM THE DESK OF CHUCK SCHUMER
Desperate times call for incremental measures.
As radical conservatives gut our institutions left and right, America needs an opposition leader with strength and resilience. Until we find that person, I will lead the charge. And I vow to fight for democracy every weekday of my life.
To the millions of enraged citizens who need a voice—I will be your soft whisper.
To the civil servants fighting back against unlawful purges—I’ll be with you every other step of the way.
To the conservatives who might underestimate me—you have no idea what I’m capable of fitting into a slideshow about the value of norms.
I will shrug the opposition into dust. When I’m through, they won’t know what hit ’em—or that they even got hit at all.
To paraphrase Roddy Piper, I came here to chew bubble gum and express mild indignation… and I’m all out of bubble gum.
Our party must act swiftly. There’s no time for hesitation. Or delay. Or dawdling. Or dragging our feet. Or indecision. Or dilly-dallying. Or stalling. Or hemming and hawing. Or equivocation. Or grandstanding. Or mincing words. Or slow-walking. Or procrastinating.
It’s time to gently place caution to the wind. It’s time to sit up and fight. It’s time for Democrats to stop playing our usual softball—and start playing the kind of softball that uses the smaller, slightly firmer ball. We need to throw the old Democratic playbook out the window, see what page it lands on, then enact the boldest plan on that page.
Republicans aren’t prepared for the amount of raw passion our newsletters are gonna have.
And if they think we’ll just roll over, then the joke’s on them. Because we’ve already rolled over, so the next time we roll over, we’ll actually be rolling back into a proper defensive position. They poked the bear. Well, this bear has claws—and those claws can organize telethons.
Things may seem dire, but fear not, America. I, Chuck Schumer, am here to roll up my sleeves and save democracy.
Though I may roll them back down if my forearms get chilly.