Eleven Lunchmeats I Have Invented - McSweeney’s Internet Tendency

Internet Tendency

Daily humor almost every day since 1998.

Daily humor almost every day since 1998.

ILLUSTORIA MAGAZINE

Young reader in your life? Subscribe to Illustoria magazine today. Recognized by The New York Times as a best gift for kids!

Brumschlagen
Cran-pepper Hen Loaf
Spiced Saucetail
Nippleroni
Fleen
Taste It
Hammed Beef
Meatwurst
Head Tongue
Buffalami
There Are Five

Please help support our writers and keep our site ad-free by becoming a patron.

Become a patron

Subscribe to McSweeney’s Internet Tendency’s Substack

Suggested Reads

April 6, 2004

Quarterly Food Saftey Report to the Board of Directors, Thorsen Distributors International

by Jim Kehl
August 26, 2003

The Bombay Palace All-You-Can-Eat Buffet: A Postcolonial Perspective

by Pasha Malla
March 22, 2000

Alternate Names for Ruth’s Chris Steak House

by Colleen Werthmann
January 9, 2020

My Layoff Letter Ground Up with Text From Meat Processing Trade Magazines

by Tina Gross

Trending 🔥

December 4, 2024

Your 2024 Therapy Wrapped

by Sasha Lubomirsky, Topher Lin, and Chan Lin
December 3, 2024

A Faculty Member’s Self-Evaluation at the End of the Semester

by B. McNulty
December 6, 2024

We Need to Save the Men

by Ginny Hogan
December 10, 2024

A Typical First Date with a Guy in Boston, Chicago, or New York

by Jus Kaplan, Jonah Nink, and Jack Stebbins

Recently

December 20, 2024

Great Philosophers on Santa’s Naughty and Nice Lists

by Amanda Lehr
December 20, 2024

An Art Nouveau Calendar for a Terrible Fucking Year

by Ali Fitzgerald
December 19, 2024

An Open Letter to Sarah from Love Actually, to Be Delivered In the Two Seconds Before She Answers Her Phone for the Second Time While Karl Is Tenderly Dry Humping Her

by Una LaMarche
December 19, 2024

A Producer Attempts to Pitch The Nutcracker

by Jeff Bender