Metaphysics: Something is controlling me and it’s kind of annoying.
Logic: If he likes her and she likes him, then he must like him.
Aesthetics: This tastes like crap, but why?
Epistemology: How do I know what crap tastes like?
Political: Power over the people.
Social: Power between the people.
Economical: How much power can this buy?
Ethics: I’ll be happy if you do that—for me.
Law: This blindfold is see-through.
Religion: Live longer, but with more restrictions.
Free Will: George, watch out for that tree!
Fate: George… never mind, it doesn’t matter.
Science: Please, no more Philosophy.
Marxism: Capitalism?
Republicans: Capitalism!
Socialism: Equality.
Democrats: We’re not Socialists.
Ancient: What is death? What is God?
21st Century: What is death? What is God?
Jewish: Forgiveness?
Christian: Forgiveness.
Islamic: Virgins?
Sacrifice: Virgins!
Buddha: This is heavy stuff, let me sit down.
Muhammad: I can see you, but you can’t see me.
Jesus: Should I help them, my father?
Abraham: Should I kill him? My son?
Theists: God, please help me.
Atheists: Sir, can you help me?
Agnostics: I need help.
Mortality: Please, let me live.
Immortality: Please, let me die.
Death: The End.