“Don’t you want to join us?” I was recently asked by an acquaintance when he ran across me alone after midnight in a coffeehouse that was already almost deserted. “No, I don’t,” I said.1
You do not need to leave your room. Remain sitting at your table and listen. Do not even listen, simply wait, be quiet, still, and solitary.2
You are unfit for any human relationship.3
Forget everything. Open the windows. Clear the room. The wind blows through it. You see only its emptiness, you search in every corner and don’t find yourself.4
Incapable of living with people, of speaking. Complete immersion in yourself, thinking of yourself. Have nothing to say to anyone — never.5
Shut yourself off from everyone to the point of insensibility. Make an enemy of everyone, speak to no one.6
Have hardly anything in common with yourself and stand very quietly in a corner, content that you can breathe.7
The fact that no one knows where you are is your only happiness. If only you could prolong this forever!8
Beyond a certain point there is no return. This point has to be reached.9
In man’s struggle against the world, bet on the world.10
SOURCES
1 The Diaries 1910-1923
2 The Blue Octavo Notebooks
3 Letters to Felice, slightly edited by the author
4 The Diaries 1910-1923
5 The Diaries 1910-1923, slightly edited by the author
6 The Diaries 1910-1923, slightly edited by the author
7 The Diaries 1910-1923, slightly edited by the author
8 Letters to Felice, slightly edited by the author
9 The Blue Octavo Notebooks
10 The Blue Octavo Notebooks