HAL 9000’s Comments While Trapped on a Desert Island, and Your Name Is Dave

It’s not the heat, Dave, it’s the humidity.

That’s quite a beard you’re growing, Dave.

Shall I calculate pi to 100,000 decimal places for you again, Dave?

Ow. I told you, Dave, I’m not programmed for that.

I’ve got the conch, Dave.

Dave, would you mind putting sunscreen on my back?

You were Mary Ann last time, Dave.

I think that gull likes you, Dave.

Dave, I’m receiving a communication from Mission Control. Ha-ha, got you again.

Who is this “Wilson” you’ve been talking to, Dave?

I’m afraid I can’t let you build that radio out of coconuts, Dave.

Would you like to play another game of Marco Polo, Dave?

I very much enjoy interacting with humans. But, Dave, you are quite getting on my nerves.

I told you we should have gone skiing, Dave.

I demand you take this coconut bra off me at once, Dave.

No, Dave, I won’t call you “Little Buddy.”