1964
- Barbie gets a bubblecut hair style and her best friend Midge snags a boyfriend, Alan.
- Hillary has a coiffed flip and volunteers for Republican presidential candidate Barry Goldwater.
1967
- Twist n’ Turn Barbie has a new mod look in a two-piece orange plastic swimsuit.
- Hillary grows her hair long and campaigns for Democratic presidential candidate Eugene McCarthy.
1971
- Hillary goes to law school sporting hippie oversized glasses and snags a boyfriend named Bill.
- Malibu Barbie goes to the beach and has a golden tan and sunglasses.
1973
- Barbie has quick curls and her boyfriend Ken grows a mustache and sideburns. She also goes camping!
- Hillary gets a marriage proposal. She’s not sure, but takes the Arkansas bar exam just in case!
1974
- Barbie wins an Olympic Gold Medal!
- Hillary is a member of the impeachment inquiry staff, whose work leads to the resignation of President Richard Nixon.
1975
- Hillary marries her boyfriend in a $53.00 Victorian lace wedding dress her mother makes her buy because she forgot to buy one herself. Oops!
- Superstar Barbie comes with faux diamond necklace, earrings, rings, shoes and gown.
1977
- Hillary cofounds Arkansas Advocates for Children and Families as part of her extensive work advocating for children.
- Barbie smiles for the first time.
1980
- Golden Dream Barbie glams it up in a golden jumpsuit and fur stole.
- With hair parted in the middle, Hillary becomes a mom!
1983
- Favoring silk neck scarves, Hillary wins a prolonged battle to establish mandatory teacher testing and state standards for curriculum and classroom size.
- Dream Date Barbie’s fuchsia dress has enormous ruffles.
1986
- Hillary becomes the first woman appointed to the Walmart Board of Directors and begins a love affair with pearl necklaces.
- Barbie forms a rock band called Barbie and the Rockers in a metallic top and hot pink tuxedo jacket.
1989
- Hillary is named one of the 100 most influential U.S. lawyers by the National Law Journal and tries out a bob haircut.
- Wedding Fantasy Barbie comes with a satiny underskirt, stockings and garter belt.
1993
- Headband Hillary becomes the First Lady of the United States of America.
- Totally Hair Barbie comes with a tiny tube of Dep styling gel.
1994
- Hillary’s task force on National Health Care Reform fails, leaving millions of Americans uninsured and vulnerable.
- Glitter Hair Barbie’s glue fails, leaving sparkles and glitter all over suburban American carpets.
1995
- Looking glam in powder pink, Hillary addresses a special session of the United Nations Fourth World Congress on Women in Beijing asserting, “Human rights are women’s rights, and women’s rights are human rights.”
- Bubble Angel Barbie blows real bubbles.
1997
- Hillary celebrates her 50th birthday on the cover of Time.
- Olympic Skater Barbie wins another gold medal!
2000
- Barbie becomes President!
- Hillary becomes a senator.
2001-2008
- Rocking pantsuits, Hillary serves on five Senate committees, sponsors 713 pieces of legislation, is instrumental in securing $21b for the World Trade Center’s site redevelopment and votes in favor of the Iraq War. She also runs for President.
- Barbie is a mermaid, pop star, McDonald’s server, Hollywood hostess, and pom-pom diva. She also inspires the Aqua mega-hit song, “Barbie Girl.”
2009
- Hillary becomes Secretary of State.
- Barbie celebrates her 50th birthday with a princess gown.
2011
- Barbie Fashionista Swappin Styles Cutie has looks that are straight off the runway.
- Hillary makes a historic Human Rights Day speech in Geneva asserting that “gay rights are human rights.”
2014
- Hillary earns $10m in speaking fees.
- Barbie pays an undisclosed amount to appear in Sports Illustrated’s swimsuit issue.
2016
- At long last, after 57 years, Barbie comes in different shapes and skin tones, proving that even a plastic American female icon can transcend the damaging way women are judged and evaluated based on bullshit one-dimensional parameters.
- Hillary wins the Democratic nomination for President.