1.
Position: Temp at J.P. Morgan
Left behind by predecessor:
Wadded up boxer shorts in plastic grocery bag (2 pair)
Shirt with J.P. Morgan emblem, tags still attached (1)
Ketchup packets (30)
Mustard packets (2)
Salt packets (14)
Pepper packets (1)
Mayonnaise packets (6)
Blue Sony earphones (1 pair)
Reasons predecessor gave for being late/not showing up:
1. Taking tests to determine whether he is viable liver donor for friend in need of transplant.
2. Waiting for three hours in office of temp agency while they searched for misplaced paycheck.
Predecessor’s post-job activities:
Drunk sledding
2.
Position: Publicity Assistant for publisher
Left behind by predecessor:
Unmailed book galleys with press releases, packaged and addressed, seven months old (6)
Unopened letters from children writing to deceased author, one year old (4)
Chopsticks (7 pairs)
Soy sauce packets (10)
Straws (11)
PhoneKleen Telephone Disinfectant Pad (2)
Kiehl’s Rare-Earth Oatmeal Milk Facial Cleanser #1 Mild (1)
Cheerios (2.5)
Reasons predecessor gave for being late/not showing up:
1. Stabbed in leg on subway
2. Hit in head with bottle
3. Book fell on head
4. Hand crushed by box of books
Predecessor’s post-job activities:
1. Had sex with stranger met on airplane
2. Published story in popular women’s magazine (“How Far Would You Go For Sex?”)