On fleek
ADJECTIVE
On top of one’s head. “Your hat is on fleek.” “Yes it is, correct.”
Netflix and chill
INTRANSITIVE VERB
To load one’s Netflix and place the relevant device in a refrigerator for a period of 24-36 hours, most commonly in the summer months, in order to benefit from the resultant ‘chill’ of the machine on one’s lap.
YOLO
ACRONYM
“Yoko Ono’s Looking Old.” Today’s teens say this frequently, seemingly blasé about the damage it is continuing to inflict on the 82-year-old’s self-esteem.
’Ship
INTRANSITIVE VERB
To shatter one’s hip in at least two places.
Two girls one cup
NOUN
A beautiful ritual in which a pair of young women are tasked with constructing the most elaborate drinking receptacle possible in under 35 minutes.
Bromance
NOUN
An intense relationship between two male bees.
Twerk
INTRANSITIVE VERB
To drink a pint of tea while engaged in the duties associated with one’s werk.
Werk
NOUN
Full-time professional employment consisting of at least 35 weekly hours.
Cray
ADJECTIVE
Good at badminton. “Your mum is super cray.” “I know, she’s been playing for quite some time now. She might go professional.” “I hope she does.”
Tinder
NOUN
A homemade farming device manufactured by combining a trowel and a cinder block.
Feels
NOUN
Small balls of nose mucus, widely shared on the street as a form of currency.
Bae
NOUN
A brass spoon that teenagers use primarily to consume soup. “Pass me the bae for the chowder, Kimmy.”
Booty
NOUN
A small boutique that sells pottery and Kenyan furniture.
FML
ACRONYM
“Finding Merlin’s Lingerie.” A code within an acronym, used to describe the discovery of something humiliating. If one has ‘found Merlin’s lingerie’, one has unearthed a career-ending truth about Merlin.
Truffle butter
NOUN
Heavy rain. “Urgh, I just stepped out of the office and got covered in truffle butter.”
Turnt
ADJECTIVE
If a piece of bread has been toasted until severely burnt, it is turnt.
IRL
ACRONYM
“I’m Richard Linklater.” Teens say this regularly on online chat forums when they are pretending to be Richard Linklater.
Preach
INTRANSITIVE VERB
To compare something to a peach.
Anaconda
NOUN
A large snake native to South America.
#nofilter
ADJECTIVE
Really cool. “I love Nickelback. You know the best thing about them? They’re so #nofilter.”
Shade
INTRANSITIVE VERB
To pick up the excrement of a small family dog.
Can’t even
INFORMAL SLANG
To be comfortable carrying out arithmetic with odd numbers but unable to do so while carrying heavy machinery.
AF
ACRONYM
Aggressive Fuchsia. A color increasingly popular with teenagers online.
OMG
INFORMAL SLANG
Ohhhh, Marvin Gaye. An expression conveying the realization that the subject of the conversation, hitherto unclear, was Marvin Gaye.
Lemon party
NOUN
A bowling game at the end of which the losing team have to throw lemons at the elderly until they knock someone over.
Selfie
NOUN
An enormous orgy fueled principally by the consumption of gigantic quantities of Class A drugs.