BAR JOKE #1
A man walks into a bar. He has a few drinks and chats with the bartender.
Later that night, he goes home alone and reflects on the poor decisions he’s made in life.
RELIGIOUS JOKE #5
A Priest, a Minister, and a Rabbi are walking down the street. They discuss, together, the various traditions and beliefs of their different religions.
Each leaves with a greater respect for the other and a deeper understanding of the world.
DOCTOR JOKE #5
A man goes to his doctor. The doctor tells him he’s dying.
The man says, “I want a second opinion.”
The doctor gives him the name and number of a specialist in the type of cancer with which the man has been diagnosed.
POLISH JOKE #21
A gentleman is of Polish descent. His heritage in not discernable to his neighbors and co-workers, save for the letters “ski” at the end of his surname.
GENIE JOKE #3
A man and a woman are crossing the desert. They find a lamp in the sand. The man rubs the lamp and nothing happens. Afterward, he feels a bit foolish.
CHICKEN JOKE #63
Why did the chicken cross the road?
Because the chicken lacks reasoning or decision-making capabilities, it seems unlikely the chicken’s action was spurred by any particular motivation.
DEATH JOKE #5
A man died. What transpired after he passed the veil of death is beyond the knowledge of the living.
KNOCK-KNOCK JOKE #8
Knock, Knock!
Who’s there?
John.
John who?
John Wilson, your old friend from college.
What a pleasant surprise. Please, come in.
BAR JOKE #17
A man walks into a bar with a dog. He orders a drink.
The bartender says, “Hey, we don’t let dogs in here!”
The man says, “But I’m blind, and this is my seeing-eye dog. According to the Americans With Disabilities Act, you have to allow him into your establishment.”
The bartender gives him his drink, which he consumes.
POLISH JOKE #9
How many Polish people does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Two. One to hold the ladder, and the other to turn the light bulb in a clockwise fashion until it is secured in the socket.
WIFE JOKE #2
Take my wife, please, as I can no longer afford to pay for a nurse to come and care for her on a daily basis.
LAWYER JOKE #7
What do you call a room full of lawyers?
A group of highly educated legal professionals.
BLONDE JOKE #116
How do you brainwash a blonde?
A rigorous schedule of psychologically breaking down their confidence and resistance to outside suggestion.
FARMER’S DAUGHTER JOKE #13
A man is driving down a country road at night when his car gets a flat tire.
He stops by a local farmhouse and asks the owner if he can stay there for the night.
“Sure,” says the farmer. “As long as you don’t touch my three beautiful daughters.”
The man did as he was told, because frankly, he didn’t find the girls nearly so attractive as their father seemed to.