“WE CANNOT LET THE CURE BE WORSE THAN THE PROBLEM ITSELF. AT THE END OF THE 15 DAY PERIOD, WE WILL MAKE A DECISION AS TO WHICH WAY WE WANT TO GO! ”
—  Donald Trump, Twitter, 3/23/20

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Every human life is precious. Life begins at conception. If you value human life, you must support the greatest president of all-time, Donald J. Trump, and also agree with him that we’re taking these coronavirus containment measures too far. It’s not really worth it to flatten the curve just to save millions of lives.

We were always at war with coronavirus.

Donald Trump is the only president brave enough to appoint unqualified judges because they’re anti-abortion. God bless our life-loving president! And God bless the stock market. If we can get back our bullish stock market, it’s totally worth sacrificing all those lives. Our bold and decisive stable genius seems to be the only world leader who understands that.

We were always at war with China.

The “shelter-in-place” orders are going to cause a recession, or even a depression. That’s way too hard for Americans to adhere to because, in this country, people want the freedom to walk around, go where they want, and do what they choose  —  even if they have coronavirus. Americans need freedom, just as long as they’re not women who have unplanned pregnancies, in which case they should be forced to give birth against their will.

Health officials say that we have to maintain social distancing, but what do they know about health? Even the surgeon general has said that people should stay home and that fifteen days of social distancing isn’t going to be enough. But why should we listen to the surgeon general when there are perfectly good random people on Twitter that the president is retweeting who say the exact opposite thing? Let people out of their homes! Sure,  that means that people will die, but the fear of the virus cannot collapse our economy. Sweet, beautiful cash is much more valuable than the lives of all those who will die from COVID-19. But don’t let women have abortions because that would be wrong.

We were always at war with women.

Economies are like fragile babies. We must treasure and nurture them. Just like Dear Leader says, automobile accidents kill plenty of people every year and we don’t ban them. Hell, we don’t even ban guns and they kill way more people than cars! If you add up all the people who are killed in car accidents and by guns, it still would be far less than the 1 to 3.4 percent of the population projected to die from coronavirus. So why are we even trying?

We were always at war with 1 to 3.4 percent of the population.

Take a look at those evil European and Canadian heathens with their ongoing commitment to containing the virus and their excellent universal health care systems. It’s like they care more about saving human lives than their economies — what a bunch of socialist losers.

We were always at war with Europe and Canada.

Do the math. Imagine if we force every woman to carry their unplanned pregnancy to term. We could fill the world with so many unwanted babies, and then all those babies could grow up to get killed by diseases like the coronavirus, and all because the Dow Jones had the sads.

That’s the American Dream! That’s the bold leadership of Donald Trump! Letting people die will make America great again!

We were always at war with caring about human life when profit was on the line.