The Believer Magazine
Articles by
Colin Heasley
Colin Heasley is originally from Cortland, New York. His humor writing has appeared in Reductress, Electric Literature, The Offing, and The New Yorker, and he currently lives in Los Angeles with his partner.
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August 30, 2024Buy an iPad for College. Get $180,000 in Student Loan Debt
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March 11, 2024My Year of Election Fatigue and Relaxation
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December 14, 2023Yep, This Supporting Character Is Definitely About to Die
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October 30, 2023The Problem Is the Human Finger
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October 16, 2023So, You Assume I Do Not Know of the Wide-Leg Jean?
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February 17, 2022The Lunch Lady from the High School in Euphoria Announces This Week’s Menu
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August 12, 2019PR Emails From Hell
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July 9, 2019Public Disgrace Generator
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April 24, 2019Popular Thirst Traps Throughout History
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December 7, 2018Famous Authors’ ASMR Props
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May 10, 2016Increasingly Convoluted Think Piece Titles About Apologizing
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October 29, 2015Are You J. Crew, J. Jill, J. Mendel, or J. Edgar Hoover?
Trending 🔥
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March 24, 2025Lest We Forget the Horrors: An Unending Catalog of Trump’s Cruelties, Collusions, Corruptions, and Crimes
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March 18, 2025Senator Schumer Votes to Let the Big Wooden Horse into Troy
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March 26, 2025Excerpts from a Red-Hot Right-Wing Romance Novel
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March 25, 2025The Plan to Bomb the Middle East Finally Made It Out of the Group Chat
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March 31, 2025I’m a Free-Thinking Centrist with Only Right-Wing Ideas
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March 31, 2025Son, I Forbid You to Join That Rowdy, No-Good Zorba the Greek Fan Club
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March 28, 2025Although I Voted for You to Be Turned into Soup, There’s No Reason We Can’t Be Friends Before You Are Liquefied
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March 28, 2025Brutally Honest Emails from Academia.edu