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Articles by
Eli Grober
Eli is the author of the satirical essay collection This Won’t Help, listed on the New Yorker’s “Best Books We Read This Week.” He writes the humor newsletter Here’s Something.
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February 12, 2025We’re Being Maximally Transparent. For Instance, We [REDACTED]
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January 6, 2025This Threat to Democracy Must Be Certified
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December 12, 2024Here at Time Magazine, We’ve Decided This Is Another One of Those Years We Pick a Person Who Fucking Sucks
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November 14, 2024I’m Putting Together a Team. The Worst Fucking Team of All Time
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November 8, 2024Finally, the Elites Have Been Defeated by the Billionaires
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May 31, 2024HELP PROVE I DID NOTHING WRONG BY SENDING ME MONEY IMMEDIATELY
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March 29, 2024Hi, I’m Jesus, and When I Get Back, I Want All the Eggs Hidden
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December 6, 2023Answering Questions at the Climate Summit After My Speech in Support of Oil World
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October 24, 2023We Must Give Equal Airtime to the Democratic Incumbent and the Guy Who Wants Everyone to Drink Their Own Piss
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September 7, 2023For Just Forty Hours a Week of Intense Work Outside Your Full-Time Job, You Too Can Make Passive Income
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June 9, 2023HELP PROVE I’M INNOCENT BY SENDING ME MONEY IMMEDIATELY
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April 3, 2023Oh, Great, Now Every Politician Has to Be Super Careful Not to Commit Crimes
Trending 🔥
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February 10, 2025Voting for the Mayor Who Promised to Blow Up the City Doesn’t Mean I Approve of the Mayor Blowing Up the City
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February 5, 2025Here at DOGE, We’ve Streamlined Every Aspect of America’s Collapse
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February 13, 2025Finally, My Tax Dollars Are Being Used to Uncover Publicly Available Government Information
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February 4, 2025An Accurate Organizational Chart of Your University
Recently
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February 21, 2025Don’t Tread on Me—Unless You’re a Billionaire with a Ketamine Addiction, in Which Case I Enthusiastically Support It
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February 21, 2025Excerpts from The Believer: Finding Win Ng
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February 21, 2025Why I Chose to Reenter the Matrix and Be a Living Battery for the Machines
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February 20, 2025Take Him Seriously, Not Literally