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Articles by
Eli Grober
Eli is the author of the satirical essay collection This Won’t Help, listed on the New Yorker’s “Best Books We Read This Week.” He writes the humor newsletter Here’s Something.
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April 10, 2025Our Plan Worked—Stocks are Skyrocketing Back to Less Than They Were Before
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April 3, 2025At Long Last, We Have Been Liberated from Being Able to Afford Anything
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March 11, 2025“He’s Just Trolling Us,” I Say as I Pay Two Hundred Dollars for Eggs and Our Town Gets Measles for the Second Year in a Row
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February 12, 2025We’re Being Maximally Transparent. For Instance, We [REDACTED]
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January 6, 2025This Threat to Democracy Must Be Certified
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December 12, 2024Here at Time Magazine, We’ve Decided This Is Another One of Those Years We Pick a Person Who Fucking Sucks
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November 14, 2024I’m Putting Together a Team. The Worst Fucking Team of All Time
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November 8, 2024Finally, the Elites Have Been Defeated by the Billionaires
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May 31, 2024HELP PROVE I DID NOTHING WRONG BY SENDING ME MONEY IMMEDIATELY
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March 29, 2024Hi, I’m Jesus, and When I Get Back, I Want All the Eggs Hidden
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December 6, 2023Answering Questions at the Climate Summit After My Speech in Support of Oil World
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October 24, 2023We Must Give Equal Airtime to the Democratic Incumbent and the Guy Who Wants Everyone to Drink Their Own Piss
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March 31, 2025I’m a Free-Thinking Centrist with Only Right-Wing Ideas
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April 1, 2025I’m a German Citizen in 1933, and Is It Just Me or Is It Really Hard to Get Any Work Done Right Now?
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April 3, 2025President Trump’s Tariffs Will Help America Win the War Against Birds
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April 9, 2025US News & World Report’s Best Remaining Colleges, 2028