The Believer Magazine
All posts tagged
centrists
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July 11, 2024The Independent Voter: An Ethnographic Study
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June 27, 2022We Would Do Something, But Then We Wouldn’t Have the Power to Do Something, So We Can’t Do Something
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June 7, 2021Just Because I’m a Democrat Doesn’t Mean I Believe in Something Crazy Like Guaranteeing Everyone the Right to Vote
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May 12, 2021I’m Skipping the Second Dose of the COVID Vaccine Because I’m an Insufferable Centrist
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April 15, 2021As a Centrist Democrat, I Ran on a Promise to Fix Killer Shower Clowns. But Now That I’m in Office, I Believe We Should Consider the Issue More Cautiously
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February 28, 2020Mike Bloomberg Can Win This Election!
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February 5, 2020I’ll Have to Vote For Trump Because the Democrats Are Too Liberal and Also Because I’m Possessed By the Demon Abaddon and His Army of Locusts
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January 28, 2020Democrats Must Appeal to the Tiny Margin of People Who Voted for Trump and Might Be Open to Supporting a Moderate Democrat in 2020
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November 19, 2019I’m Pete Buttigieg, and After a Lot of Soul-Searching, I’ve Realized That I Am a Young Joe Biden
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November 12, 2019Liberals Must Stop Condemning My Moral Cowardice and General Ineptitude
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February 10, 2025Voting for the Mayor Who Promised to Blow Up the City Doesn’t Mean I Approve of the Mayor Blowing Up the City
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February 13, 2025Finally, My Tax Dollars Are Being Used to Uncover Publicly Available Government Information
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February 5, 2025Here at DOGE, We’ve Streamlined Every Aspect of America’s Collapse
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February 4, 2025An Accurate Organizational Chart of Your University
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February 21, 2025Don’t Tread on Me—Unless You’re a Billionaire with a Ketamine Addiction, in Which Case I Enthusiastically Support It
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February 21, 2025Excerpts from The Believer: Finding Win Ng
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February 21, 2025Why I Chose to Reenter the Matrix and Be a Living Battery for the Machines
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February 20, 2025Take Him Seriously, Not Literally