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All posts tagged
fourth-of-july
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July 5, 2024President Whitmore from Independence Day Debates His Challenger
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July 3, 2024How I Imagine the Drafting of the Declaration of Independence Would Have Gone If the Founders Had Been Eating Buffalo Chicken Pizza
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July 3, 2024How to Tell Whether Someone is Liberal or Conservative on the Fourth of July
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July 2, 2024Supreme Court–Approved Ways to Celebrate the Fourth of July
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July 3, 2023John Hancock Explains His Big Signature
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June 29, 2023Ron DeSantis’s Fourth of July Party Prep List
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July 2, 2021Fireworks for People Who Don’t Like Fireworks
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July 3, 2020We Apologize That Instead of July Fourth Bunting, We Accidentally Shipped You a Box Full of Snakes
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July 3, 2019Some Notes on This Year’s Fireworks Display
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July 3, 2019Happy 2019th Birthday, America!
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October 15, 2024I’m an Undecided Hobbit, Torn Between a Dark Lord Who Promises an Age of Chaos and an Elf Queen Whom I Just Wish I Knew More About
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October 28, 2024The Starfleet Gazette Will Not Be Endorsing a Candidate for President of the United Federation of Planets
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September 20, 2024It’s Decorative Gourd Season, Motherfuckers
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August 19, 2024Lest We Forget the Horrors: A Catalog of Trump’s Worst Cruelties, Collusions, Corruptions, and Crimes: The Complete Listing: Atrocities 1–1,056
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November 4, 2024Don’t Worry—This Is Exactly How the Founding Fathers Intended You to Feel on Election Day
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November 4, 2024270 Reasons: Because There Are No Rights, No Freedoms That Some Extremists Won’t Try to Take From Us
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November 4, 2024Eeyore’s Tips for Election Day Self-Care
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November 3, 2024Based on Our Election Forecast, We Are 100 Percent Sure Anything Could Fucking Happen