1. Asymmetry
Melanoma lesions are often asymmetrical in shape. If you draw a line through a mole, the two halves will not match. For example, that spot in Daryl’s armpit, or that blemish on Ashley’s elbow. And here I am, pumping myself up for mind-altering group sex, and all I can see is potentially cancerous pigmentation. While I’m super impressed ‘Dashley’ can stay upside-down this long, I need to tell them to get those growths checked out — when the moment is right, of course. It’s a little early in the evening to be such a buzzkill. Caleb hasn’t even shown up yet.
2. Border
The borders of an early melanoma tend to be uneven. The edges may be scalloped or notched, like the irregular border of that blot on Gary’s big beautiful testicles. Distractions at an all-out fuckfest aren’t uncommon — I mean, who hasn’t had a rogue penis or two gently slap them on the forehead unexpectedly — but this is too much. It is really taking me out of the moment, if I’m being honest. And I need to be honest. These events are about open communication and expressing your wants in a freeform environment. And I want Gary to get that looked at by a dermatologist.
3. Color
Diversity at an all-day fuck-a-thon is a good thing. But today the white, black, brown, and tan, are mixing with red, blue, and purple all in one nevus on Tiffany’s back, a clear sign of early melanoma. I almost didn’t notice it while Paul and I were in this Eiffel tower, our classic orgy go-to, but when we re-positioned I got a good look at Tiff’s lumbar region and that multi-color imperfection is very concerning. It is getting fucking hard to keep fucking hard.
4. Diameter
There he is! Caleb is fashionably late once again. And speaking of diameter, I can’t help but notice the size of Shauna’s freckle. That has got to be at least twice of the size of an eraser, which is nothing to brag about, and something that needs to be looked at by a professional.
5. Evolving
This trip to Fucktown USA hasn’t been evolving the way I thought it would. And neither has Susan’s birthmark. We all used to find her port wine stain cute, but it has definitely changed this year, and I have to say something. I think it is time for me to put the butt plugs and nipple clamps down, get out of this sex swing, and take the ball gag out of my mouth, metaphorically speaking, and get real with my fuckfriends here. What are fuckfriends for, am I right?