8 AM: Buzzer woke me up this morning. Another process server. Tony again. Grand jury summons this time. Invited him in for a cup of coffee, but said he had to get across town to Jared and Ivanka’s. Asked if he could return cufflinks Jared lent me, as long as he’s headed over there.
8:12-8:48 AM: Shaving.
9 AM: Stopped by Storico for a croissant. Man in line said he liked my hat. Told him thanks; got it from gift shop on Block Island. Man had Eastern European accent — Chechen from the sound of it. Probably a tourist. Recommended he go to Columbus Circle and see the horses.
9:12 AM: Heading to the park. Saw nice ad on the side of a bus for Oslo. Looks very clean. Cold? Saw a squirrel dig half a sandwich out of the trash. Really makes you appreciate the wonder of nature.
10:00 AM: Called Michael Cohen to make sure he shredded all of my tax returns since 2009.
10:45 AM: Mad dash to Penn Station for train to D.C, when stopped by Chechen man from Storico. Handed me my phone. Said I dropped it in the café. Wished me luck in D.C. Asked him how he knew where I was going. He just smiled. Only in New York!
12 PM: On train. Looking at flights to visit Oslo. Seems like a neat city. Flights surprisingly cheap, for being so far away. Wonder how much sunlight they get in February.
12:27 PM: Called each airline to ask if they have the seats that recline all the way back. United, no. Alaska, no. American, no. Virgin, no. Singapore, yes, but they don’t go to Oslo. Note to self: research Singapore.
2:34 PM: Ah, Union Station! Always glad to have a few minutes to browse their Jos. A. Bank. Best selection of pocket squares, hands down. Meeting lots of important people this afternoon.
3 PM: Testified before closed-door meeting of the House Intelligence Committee regarding my conversations with senior Russian officials in July 2016 about the possibility of loosening sanctions against the Russian government in exchange for help hacking Hillary’s emails.
4:15 PM: Capitol bathrooms have those Dyson hand dryers now!
4:45 – 6 PM: More testimony. Tulsi Gabbard kept looking at me. Spark?
6:35 PM: Waiting for an Uber in front of Capitol when guess who I find? That nice Chechen fellow! What a whirlwind vacation for him. Told me I have distinctive eyes. Shook my hand firmly, told me to be careful. What a sweetheart. The Chechens are truly a misunderstood people.
7:15 PM: Dinner at the Flynns’. Always forget how bad traffic into McLean is. Lots of pretty trees once you get onto Rte. 123. Idea for poem: Where would we be without trees?
8 PM: Dinner good. Lori makes a mean borscht. Junior just loafing around in the living room on his phone. Told Mike, too much screen time’s bad for kids. Mike told me Singapore and Siam not the same place. Note to self: Tell Paul.
8:35 PM: Flynns not up to catching Cheers on Nick-at-Nite.
9:45 PM: Hotel doesn’t have Nick-at-Nite. Kicking myself for leaving Flynns’ so early.
10:08 PM: Knock at door. Must be room service. Didn’t even order room service! Leave it to the Hilton.
10:12 PM: Was Chechen man at the door. Pressed revolver against my rib cage and told me never to go on All in with Chris Hayes again. Shot and hit lamp on the dresser. Said next time that’s me. A sign?
11:15 PM: Googling “Singapore.” Turns out it’s a city-state. Didn’t know that was a thing anymore. Plus, there’s a bar on the roof of a skyscraper. Sounds expensive. Singapore trip back on!