Crying, 4:12 AM = “U up?”
Crying, 5:40 AM = “…U up?”
“Ma-ma” = “If, as Foucault was led to conclude, motherhood is a social construction rather than a naturalized and fundamental female state, why do modern-day conceptions of birthing and mothering continue to frame them as being central to the feminine identity? Will we ever stop conflating motherhood with femininity in a way that upholds false power structures and is damaging to both mothers and non-mothers alike, as well as the women who choose to birth and mother outside of the woefully narrow and unrealistic societal parameters we have set for ourselves? Also, your boobs look good today.”
Crying, 7:58 AM = “Ugh.”
Crying, 9:13 AM = “Ugggghhhhh.”
“Da-da” = “You are currently teaching me every core idea I will hold deep within myself about men and masculinity. I see your every word and gesture, the way you move through the world exactly as your own father did, as hard as you may struggle against this and as much as you claim to be ‘woke’. I see every toxic and learned male-coded behavior that you believe to be imperceptible – or indeed, cannot yourself perceive – in your interactions with others. I am absorbing and storing all of this as fuel for my own gender-role anxieties and the dysfunctional romantic relationships that will poison my adolescence and adulthood.”
Crying, 11:22 AM = “I feel like maybe there was some Dog here a minute ago but now I can’t see it. I’m not sure if Dog still exists or if it has fallen into The Void with everything else that has ever left my field of vision.”
Crying, 12:51 PM = “Dog’s back. I forgot how scary Dog is.”
“Bubbubbbbbuh” = “Bearing any more children would be tantamount to neglect, what with our household’s already-strained financial resources and your VERY evident emotional baggage and parental shortcomings. On the other hand, relegating me to the life of an only child would send me swimming the breaststroke down a one-lane narcissism swimming pool, saddling me with complete self-absorption and paralyzing inflexibility when faced with the most minor of obstacles or disappointments, not to mention the nightmare of being the family’s sole decision-maker and caretaker in your (fast-approaching) old age. Choose wisely, motherfuckers.”
Crying, 2:06 PM = “I never asked for any of this.”
Laughing while Clapping = “FUCK, I FUCKING LOVE YOU. YOU SLAY ME. MAKE THAT FACE AGAIN. DO IT. YES. GOD, YOU’RE THE FUCKING BEST, YOU KNOW THAT? I FUCKING LOVE YOU.”
Crying, 4:17 PM = “Ugh.”
Crying, 6:20 PM = “The ways in which you are failing me are at once too numerous and too complex for either of us to ever fully comprehend, but we will both spend the rest of our lives trying. The work will never end.”
Crying, 8:38 PM = “…U up?”