McSWEENEY'S INTERNET TENDENCY'S PATREON
Join our Patreon for as little as $5 a month and get access to author interviews, content calls, discounts at our store, and more. Help support our writers and keep our site ad-free.
Short Imagined Monologues
Send your short imagined monologues to websubmissions@mcsweeneys.net.
-
April 17, 2025I’m the Zipper on Your Preschooler’s Hand-Me-Down Jacket, and I’m Gonna Destroy Your Morning
-
April 8, 2025I, Famously Good President Herbert Hoover, Am Imposing Tariffs to Bolster Domestic Manufacturing
-
March 12, 2025I’m Chunk’s Mother, and No, He Did Not Consult Me Before Telling Sloth He Could Live with Us
-
February 25, 2025I’m a Typo, and in This Age of AI, I’m the Real Hero
-
February 21, 2025Why I Chose to Reenter the Matrix and Be a Living Battery for the Machines
-
February 11, 2025I Vow to Fight Autocracy with Unprecedented Levels of Finger Wagging
-
February 11, 2025As an Elected Republican Who Believes in the Rapture, This Is My Chance to Shine
-
February 10, 2025Normalizing Indian Hate Makes Me a Good Father and Husband
-
December 19, 2024I Am Whoville’s Only Home Insurance Provider, and I Am So Screwed
-
December 18, 2024I’m an Apple News+ Article. Come and Get Me, Baby
-
December 16, 2024Baby, It’s Me, Polio, and I’ve Missed You
-
December 12, 2024I’m a Hairy and Disaffected Accountant Competing on the Popular Mid-2000s TV Game Show Wipeout
Trending 🔥
Recently
-
April 23, 2025I Love You More Than Anything, but I Would Rather Die Than Talk to You on the Phone
-
April 23, 2025Childcare Options You Can Afford with the Child Tax Credit
-
April 22, 2025Frat Party University Will Not Comply with the Trump Administration’s Demands
-
April 22, 2025We’re Eliminating All Urban Tree Plantings Because Trees Are DEI