CHOO CHOO! Open wide! Here comes Amtrak’s Capitol Limited commuter train! KER-CHUNK. Oh no, the culvert collapsed and derailed the first train car! Good thing this is a spoonful of mashed peas and not a seven-ton rail car traveling at speeds of up to 80 miles per hour! Eat up!
TOOT TOOT! There’s ANOTHER leak in the boiler room of the Steamboat Sultana! Patch it up with these canned peaches before it explodes! The death toll on the Sultana significantly surpassed that of the Titanic because most of the passengers were part of a soldier-prisoner exchange during the end of the Civil War! More peaches for Ethan! MMM!
VROOM! VROOM! A Toyota Corolla filled with sweet potatoes! Better eat it before it drives on the I-35 westbound Mississippi River bridge, which collapsed due to structural inefficiencies and critically lapsed inspections!! NOM NOM NOM!
BLAST-OFF! Chow down on your Cheerios before the seals malfunction due to low temperature and allow a small stream of gas into the rocket booster! Just like the defective o-rings in the Challenger disaster! CRUNCH-A CRUNCH-A!
CLIMP CLOMP CLIMP CLOMP CLIMP CLOMP. Hurry, banana competing in a tap dance competition at the Hyatt Regency hotel in Kansas City, Missouri, walking across the hotel sky bridge! The fabricator constructed a double-rod support system on the walkway rather than the originally designed single-rod system without approval of the engineering design team! Quick, banana dancer! FOR THE LOVE OF GOD! GET INTO ETHAN’S MOUTH BEFORE THE SUSPENSION RODS SNAP!!