The Hindenburg
Sliding down the stairs in a laundry basket
Sharing an elevator with four teens who keep jumping up and down to scare me
Air Force One (the one that got hijacked, from the movie)
A Volkswagen Beetle packed way over the fifteen-clown capacity
Being launched out of a cannon
Any plane referred to as a “flying machine”
Any car referred to as a “jalopy”
The S.S. Minnow during a sea squall
Working the Frialator in the back of a food truck as it screams down a potholed New England road
Riding a camel through the desert when I forgot to apply sunscreen and I’m already halfway through the one Riptide Rush Gatorade I packed
The Orient Express (the one with the murder on it, from the movie)
When a baby deer is trying to cross a slippery frozen pond on its little stick legs
Literally any time machine
Parasailing through a lightning storm in my favorite chainmail
Running up the down escalator
But NOT running down the up escalator—that’s dangerous and someone could get hurt
Smuggling myself inside my friend’s suitcase so we could get half-price on spring break flights
Buses that can’t go under fifty miles per hour
Traveling the ocean inside a whale’s mouth
A handbasket on its way down to hell
The MBTA Orange Line
The purple Ford Escort I drove in high school that never once got an oil change, because my dad was like, “You need to learn to do things for yourself,” and I was like, “Okay,” and then I avoided it because I was too anxious, and a few weeks later when Dad said, “Did you ever get your oil changed?” I said, “Yeah, of course.”
Jeff Bezos’s penis rocket
The Titanic (the one that sank, from the movie)